What Does it Mean to Believe that you’re Enough?
First published via The Life Coach Directory
“Am I enough?”
Three small words that can shake our foundation to the core. Three small words that impact whether we feel content, fulfilled, confident, happy or anxious, lost, hopeless, depressed. Three small words that can alter entirely the way we show up in this world.
The research shows that 85% of people experience a sense of feeling like they’re not enough at some point in their lives.
So let me ask you, “what do you believe makes you enough?”
If you have a few moments, grab a notebook and spend some time reflecting on this question.
Now what was your answer. The fact that you have a good job or earn a decent salary? Maybe the size of your home? The number of followers you have on social media? Or being a supportive parent?
I could go on and on.
The truth is though, that there really is only one answer to the question I asked you: I am enough simply for being me.
The Meaning of Enough
There’s a lot of language in the wellness world that can sound a little trite, overused, cliche, vague. So what do I mean when I say Enough. For me, it’s a part of self-love, it’s knowing that you are worthy just as you are. It’s an acceptance of your whole self. A recognition that you are an imperfect, flawed human and being okay with that - heck even celebrating that uniqueness!
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that when this happens I’ll be enough. When I’m in a relationship. When I get the promotion. When I lose some weight. Then I’ll be enough.
When we position ourselves on this elusive hunt for the next thing, the magic pill that will make us feel better, we’re placing ourselves on incredibly shaky ground. When life is good, when you’re receiving the external validation it feels amazing! God it feels amazing! But when you go through a breakup, when your company goes through a restructure and you’re made redundant, when you don’t reach your target body weight, you dig yourself a hole so deep, so dark, that it feels like this is the only place you belong or deserve to be.
I know because I’ve been there.
But because of that, I also know that it’s possible to climb your way out. To come back to that place where you know, where you deeply trust, that you are enough just for being you. That the roles, the labels, the identities we wrap ourselves with, have no baring on who you are as a person.
We’re so hard on ourselves. We’re the first to judge the choices we make. The first to criticise the mistakes we make. The first to reject our worth. Yet we love the people in our lives for who they are. If our friend fails an exam we don’t think “well she’s rubbish, she’s not my friend anymore”. But when we fail, it’s an irrefutable fact of our worthlessness!
Dr Julie Smith shared in an interview with Fearne Cotton on The Happy Place Podcast how she explains to her children that her 1.2million follows of Instagram don’t define her worth. That if she woke up tomorrow and lost all of her followers, or deleted the app, she would still be worthy. She would still be enough purely for the fact that she exists.
You are worthy regardless of the job you have, regardless of your education and the letters that follow your name, regardless of the car you drive, or the family you have.
You are enough. Just as you are.
So my invitation for you today is to make a choice to love yourself as you are right now.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to believe that you are enough. The first step is making that choice to befriend yourself. To see yourself through the eyes of the people who most love you.
You’ve spent far too long looking outside for something or someone to fill the void of not enough-ness. Now is the time to turn inwards and discover that what you’ve been searching for has been waiting for you all along. Below are some journaling prompts that you can explore for you to connect into the beauty of who you are. Don’t worry if you find this challenging, I know that I did the first time I did this. Be patient, keep adding to it and most importantly start believing it.
what does being enough mean to me?
what have I connected being enough with (ie finances / relationships)?
where does that connection come from (ie an experience / inherited from family / society)?
consider a time that you failed or had a setback and felt less than enough, would you think or feel the same way towards a friend if they had experienced that?
think back to a time you succeeded and received external validation, how long did you feel good for? does it feel a safe or comfortable place to be?
what can you do on a daily / weekly basis to remind yourself that you are enough just as you are and build that belief.
what would you like to take away from this reflective practice?
Stop chasing what already exists inside of you. Give yourself the gift of loving yourself - your whole self.
Changing your mindset to believe that you are enough, that you are worthy, valuable, loveable just as you are is not easy work. It requires taking a deep, honest look at yourself, even the parts you’ve hidden away or even rejected, and cultivating acceptance and compassion. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone - I’ve been there and I’ve supported hundreds of women to reclaim their power, to become their biggest cheerleader who knows and believes that they are worthy of happiness, love, life. If you resonate with what I’ve shared then I’m here for you - book in for your complementary discovery call to understand how you can make the shift from feeling not enough, to unconditionally loving and accepting all parts of you.
Much love
Alexandra x
