9 Signs You Have Low Self Worth

For a long time I couldn’t see that I was standing in my own way. I made excuses for myself like being shy, or introverted, a little insecure.

Little did I realise, I was struggling with low self-worth.

And having the privilege of working with many women the past 6 years, I know that I am not the only one who failed to recognise the signs of low self-worth within themselves.

Having a low sense of self-worth can impact… well everything. From the decisions you make, the people you choose to surround yourself with, the work you do, the life you lead.

Knowing your worth as a person means that you listen to your intuition and inherently trust yourself. It’s a deep belief that your worth has nothing to do with your career, or the amount of money in the bank, or the size of your house or the shape of your body.

Self-worth is seeking acceptance not with our external world, but with what lies beneath. With who we are at our core.

But what, if like me, you don’t know if you’re the one standing in your way, if you don’t recognise the ways in which low self worth shows up in your life?

I got you, don’t worry. Below I share 9 surprising ways low self-worth may manifest for you.

People Pleasing

Guilty as charged. I would tell myself that I wanted others to be happy, that it was an admirable trait of kindness and generosity. And that when they were happy I would be content. Really, this stems from my childhood and is the conditioning of many, many girls who are taught to be sweet and accommodating.

What this actually means is that you don’t value yourself enough to put yourself first. You don’t feel like you are worthy of taking up space or being a priority. Much like a muscle in the body atrophies over years of not being used, the part of you that makes decisions and connects into what you want weakens until you forget how to do it all together.

You Let Other’s Treat You Badly

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic relationship where the other person makes you feel small or unloveable? Chances are, your opinion of yourself allowed you to be walked all over. This could even manifest in physical or verbal abuse. But this can also happen in subtle ways, like someone pressuring you to settle for less than you deserve or gaslight you into thinking that things are your fault.

For many people this can show up as a one sided relationship, romantic or platonic, in which you convince yourself the other person is wonderful and you are lucky to be a part of their life.

You Don’t Think You Deserve Anything

This is something I see a lot with the women I work with and it can show up in many different areas like careers, relationships, finances, self care. If you’re not careful, this belief can quickly turn into self sabotaging behaviours that keep you from getting where you want to be.

I know for me, a loud voice would often appear telling me that I was worthless and didn’t deserve happiness or love or success or joy.

You Stopped Taking Care of Yourself

This links into a little of what I have spoken about above in a sense of putting other people’s needs before your own as well as believing that you don’t deserve time for yourself. If you struggle with simple acts of self-care, whether it be a bath, a moment to read a book, getting dressed, doing some gardening or an hour of yoga, it’s likely that you sense of worth tells you that aren’t worthy or important enough for these simple pleasures.

Self-care has become a bit of a buzz word and perhaps lost the deeper meaning of what it really means. It isn’t about shutting out the world and indulging yourself, but rather recognising that you have to put your oxygen mask on before you can help others.

You Have Low Energy

Feeling tired, fatigued, unmotivated. This can be a symptom of low self-worth. When you don’t respect yourself enough to eat well, to exercise, to practice self care, to prioritise sleep your energy that can impact your relationships, your career, your hobbies and your overall health.

Show yourself that you are worthy by being mindful of what you eat, moving your body kindly each day, creating a healthy sleep routine and adding elements of self-care to your everyday.

You’ve Stopped Caring

A client of mine recently shared a win on her journey of self-worth. She had dressed up just because. Not to impress anyone or because she had any need, but because she felt worthy of it. For some, this may sound like vanity. But for this client, it was a breakthrough moment.

For most of her life, she didn’t care about what she wore, or how she looked, or what she ate or how she treated her body. Deciding to put on a dress and a bit of make-up was an act of rebellion to the part of her that believed she was unworthy. In doing so, she communicated to herself on a deep level that she loved and valued herself.

This can show up as not caring about anything that you once cared about, from work, to relationships, hobbies or passions. If you find that you no longer care about things, check with yourself to see if it’s actually your low self-worth getting in the way.

You’ve Stopped Dreaming

People who struggle with low self-worth often feel hopeless and useless. This can show up as no longer setting goals or letting go of your long held dreams and ambitions because you don’t think that you are good enough.

For many, this can leave you in a state of limbo or no-mans land: not going after a job because you don’t think you’re smart enough; not returning to the dating world because you’re afraid of getting hurt; not putting a deposit down on a house because you just ‘know’ it won’t work out; staying where you are because it feels safe and comfortable.

You Compare Yourself to External Factors

As I explored in this post: Myths of Self-Worth there are many external things people falsely attribute their self-worth to such as their achievements, their job, the amount of money they make, the way they look etc. In doing this, it’s nearly impossible to not find yourself wanting in some aspect of your life and questions your sense of worth. If you let your self-worth be determined by external factors your placing it on extremely shaky ground.

Your worth is innate, you are born with it and nothing outside of you can take that away from you.

You Don’t Feel Like Yourself

Sometimes feelings of low self-worth come later in life from a traumatic experience like being fired, a divorce, a miscarriage, being abused. Events that make you question your identity.

It’s natural for people to have good days and bad days and sometimes those bad days can last a week or two but if you start noticing that your behaviour has changed, or that you no longer feel like the person you once were it might be your self-worth has taken a knock and needs a little nurturing.

Do any of these resonate with you? Still unsure about how your self-worth impacts you? I’ve created a quiz for you.

If you want to explore the ways of building your self-worth in your life, book in for a free discovery call today.

Much love
Alexandra