Managing New Year, New You Anxieties
January is a time when the whole world sets upon making grandiose changes in their lives in the hopes of becoming more successful, more loveable, more worthy. But are New Year Resolutions all they’re cracked up to be?
Fresh starts and new beginnings, it seems, is an innate desire for human beings, with traditions dating back as far as 4,000 years ago making New Year Resolutions. And it’s a lovely idea too isn’t, put one year behind us, learn from the mistakes we made, and look ahead to what the new year might bring.
However, studies show that whilst 1/3 of UK set resolutions on the 1st of January, 30% have failed after just one week, and 80% have abandoned their goals completely by February.
So what’s going on?
a tendency to set goals that we feel we should make rather than getting clear on what we actually want meaning there’s little to no motivation
an expectation of miracles and overnight changes which can result in cycles of self doubt and low self esteem
lack of support, guidance and accountability to make lasting and sustainable changes
loss of joy from being too results focused and being toxically productive
goals created out of negativity, targeting imperfections and flaws
Resolutions made from this space are of course going to be hard to stick by and gradually chip away at our self esteem and confidence.
Now I’m not saying do away with Resolutions and Goals completely. Not at all. I think they are incredibly valuable and can inspire profound transformational growth. I think it’s wonderful if someone wants to eat more greens, or get outside more, spend less time on their phone, start a meditation practice. What I’m less a fan of is the way people set about achieving their unrealistic goals. Or the pressure that they put upon themselves to make instant change. The self flagellation and hate when they slip up, or forget, or feel too exhausted.
Flip the Script on New Year Resolutions
Make Small, Positive Changes
This isn’t about creating a brand new you overnight. Besides, you are already pretty great as you are. Instead, ask yourself each morning, what action can I take today that will move me towards becoming a better version of myself?
Set SMART Goals
Don’t just jump on the bandwagon with losing weight: Create Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound Goals. Break it down into each month and as you reach your goals each month you will feel way more motivated to continue.
One Step at a Time
It’s great having a long vision, but sometimes that can feel overwhelming and put us in a mode of inaction. Accept that there will be days that you miss the gym, eat birthday cake, forget to meditate. That’s life. Don’t feel guilty and remember this is a journey, not an overnight miracle.
Celebrate Your wins
Something we all forget to do is acknowledge our progress. Give yourself a pat on the back for sending that difficult email, for getting outside, for eating more greens. Focus on the daily wins and not just the ultimate goal.
Find an Accountability Buddy
Tell a friend, colleague, therapist your goals so that they can check in with you and see how you are doing. It will feel like you have your personal cheerleader in your corner!
Ask for Support
No man is an island. It’s okay to reach out and ask for help when you need it.
Be Kind to Yourself
If you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. Cultivate compassion into your self narrative. Reframe your perception of failure and instead consider what can I learn from this experience.
If you’re struggling with the January blues, you’re not alone. Don’t let New Year Resolutions get you down any longer. If you need guidance in creating meaningful goals that will stick, then reach out for an Initial Consultation. Change is ready when you are.
Much love
Alexandra xx
