Build a Happy Life with S.T.A.G.E
I've been reflecting a lot recently on the concept of happiness. How it seems that some people have it regardless of the circumstances, situation or environment. How a person who appears to have it all can be miserable whilst a person who has nothing, radiates contentment and joy.
We don't have a car yet here - and they're pretty essential as anyone who has lived in America will know - so I've been taking more taxis than usual to get me around the city.
I've had some wonderful conversations with my drivers about their lives, what brought them to Denver, their families, their interests and hobbies, what their passions are, what makes them happy. And what struck me, was how their choice of words, of what they chose to focus on, seemed to impact their level of life satisfaction.
Those who resented their job, or dwelled on it's limitations, or the things they perceived to be lacking in their lives, in general, seemed dissatisfied with life. Whereas the drivers who expressed their joy at being in such a beautiful city, who offered me recommendations about things to do, even empathised with me when I was feeling homesick or lonely, had an uplifting energy and happiness that was contagious.
And it comes back to this point that I've been pondering awhile, that ultimately, we can choose our own happiness story. That in many ways happiness is a skill that we can learn.
I came across a framework from Happify the other day that, for me, really encapsulated the altruistic and compassionate traits of happy people... qualities that we can all develop and strengthen.
S.T.A.G.E
Savour
This is all about intentionally observing the beauty that is already present in life so that you can shift from a negativity bias, to a positive mindset. Absorbing the moment and holding onto the enjoyable feelings and thoughts as long as possible. Like the taste of the meal you’ve prepared. Or the pink hues of the clouds at sunset.
Thank
Expressing gratitude is such a powerful practice that benefits your physical, mental and emotional health. In fact, studies reveal that giving thanks can increase happiness levels by 25%. There are so many practices to explore like a gratitude journal, mental lists, spontaneous phone calls, or a simple smile. I also love to encourage people to get creative here, like writing a letter
Aspire
Consider whether you are a glass half full or a glass half empty type of person. Does it even matter? Yes! Having a sense of purpose and meaning leads to happier and more satisfied lives. Studies show that having an optimistic mindset is linked to better mental health, less depression, personal growth, self-acceptance, better sleep, and longevity.
Give
For me, giving and happiness go hand in hand. Everyone involved receives. Obviously the person you’re gifting gets that oxytocin boost, a serotonin rush, a surge of pleasure. But you benefit too! Giving makes you feel good - less stressed, less angry, less lonely - and more connected! Research suggests that giving doesn’t just promote positive mental and emotional wellbeing, but physical health too.
Empathise
This is a skill I believe we could all cultivate more of to benefit our lives. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes in an attempt to understand how someone else might be feeling is a powerful practice that can help give new perspective on a situation. When we’re able to empathise with others, we become less judgmental and frustrated, and more compassionate and understanding in our relationships - including the one we have with ourselves.
Breakthrough in science is revealing that happiness is the formation of brain networks resulting from the regular expression of compassion, generosity, and kindness. Through cultivating these simple habits on a day to day basis, you will change the structure of your brain and experience more joy in your world.
Much love as always
Alexandra x
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